why

why I always want to make people happy but can't make myself happy?
why everyones are strange?
why I'm always feel sad?
why I'm never feel that full-of-joy again?
why I always be the last one to choose?
why I can't be a fun person?
why do people understimate me?
why I'm feel nothing in this world?
why I feel useless?
why even my friends can't love me the way I am?
why I can't play piano with feelings?
why I'm always feel that feelings everyday.